I really do not like to be rude, but I think the time has come to let you know that you have all worn out your welcome and need to move on and give me a little break for a while.  I can’t even say it was nice getting to know you all and have you stay with me because quite frankly it wasn’t and if you never come back again it would be too soon.

Not happy with one of my cheesy toes you have no decided to start in on a second, no wait you already had a go at my other big toe but the antibiotics stopped you from doing your worst, so now this toe is number three.  To be honest I am not sure why you would even bother, this toe is so small and cheesy it is hardly worth the effort. So GO!  And while you are with it take with you the nasty redness, the hotness and the pain in my joint I am done with them and really don’t want them anymore, hey I didn’t want them in the first place but nobody seems to listen to what I want!

It is your fault that I hardly seem to have enough energy to get out of my own way and yet toss and turn all night doing crocodile rolls and almost severing poor TETB’s limbs after tying him in knots with the bedding…and your fault that my head feels like it is going to explode and your fault that my insides have been cleaned with more chemicals than I can even pronounce and no I can hear you all laughing at me now that I have a face full of cold sores. Yeah hilarious.

Go away and leave me alone, I need a little break.

Please.

The podiatrist that is..yes, you know him, he is a foot scrapin, clippin, poking, prodding kinda bloke.

Yesterday I went to him for the first time after advice from the surgeon and rheumatologist.  He spent the first ten minutes reading my latest reports from them and then if he asked me once he must have asked me a hundred times if I knew how close I came to losing my toe.  I started by smiling sweetly and agreeing that yes it was a pretty close run thing but that I was aware of the whole seriousness of the situation but I soon found myself gritting my teeth and glaring at him.

Of course I know how bad it was, hell I was the one hooked up to the IV for ever and a freakin’ day..I get it ALREADY!

The prodding and poking and filing and clipping soon began and then he got out the ankle angle grinder and smoothed off all my rough edges (well we can only hope :P)

After all that was over he then proceeded to explain to me that I have to take particular care with my foot care due to me having several chronic conditions and being so immunosuppressed..hello..what did he think I was actually there for?

The icing on the cake came soon after, he was filling out my paper work and noticed my birthday is Christmas Eve, he then looked at the year and informed me that I was in fact only 4 days younger than him and then proceeded to say,”But I guess every birthday you have is a real bonus for a person with your health problems!”

Gee I am so glad I went to see him, he made me feel so much better about everything..NOT!

Why all of a sudden do I get the feeling that my feet are the least of my problems? LOL!

Oh well at least a girl can still laugh!

Today TETB and I accompanied Cal to have a hire suit fitting in preparation for his upcoming school formal.

I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t too surprised when he took off his shoes to find that he had one black and white sock on.  It sums up my son pretty well I think, he always likes to be slightly outside the square!

The lady that was looking after us was in hysterics, this was her first day working there and she had never done a suit fitting before, talk about a baptism of fire!

For those of you that are regular readers, you would already be aware that Cal has been working really hard at losing weight and getting himself into shape.  After years of taking huge doses of steroids for his severe eczema, he had put on lots of weight.  Now after a heap of blood, sweat and tears and watching every morsel he put into his mouth and just a touch of manorexia he has lost 30kgs of what he so eloquently calls ‘lard’.

He looked a little like a deer in the headlights when the lady came at him with the tape measure but I think he was pleasantly surprised when he put the hire suit on and looked in the mirror.

After trying on umpteen different styles of jackets and colors of ties, we thought we had finally found the one that suited best when I had a brain wave..instead of hiring the suit, I thought a better idea would be to actually purchase a suit and have it to use for any upcoming job interviews and functions, so the whole process had to start all over again as these suits were different styles and had a whole different sizing system…LMAO!

Of course the suit that we all decided looked the best wasn’t actually in stock in the size and color required and will now have to be ordered in and sent from God knows where…*rolls eyes*

So who knew that it would or could possibly take over 2 hours for a teenage boy to find a suit?  I thought it was only girls that carried on like this?

As we go to blog the formal date has still not decided on a dress color for absolutely certain, must be nice to have options, so at this stage we are unsure about *that tie color!*

I have to admit to misting over and tearing up a little during this whole experience, to be honest it all felt kind of surreal watching my baby looking so grown up.  Where did all those years go?

Lets just say that I am sure the poor shop lady will have slept well….she was exhausted from laughing at all of the shenanigans.

So all stay tuned for a report of the formal and of course accompanying pictures after the big event on November 21.

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not a mind reader!  Although Donna from Cinderella’s Sundance and I do seem to have this whole psychic thing going on between us..PMSL.

If you use all the milk and need more, you have to tell me about it or write it on the list as I unless I am cooking with it I never touch the milk.  Same deal with deodorant and other personal products, I am more than happy to do the shopping but if you don’t tell me you need it then I am not going to buy it.

Just because I seem to know exactly what the animals want without them telling me doesn’t mean that the same thing applies to ‘boys’….you are a breed all on your own and I doubt that I will ever, ever work you out.

So..if any of you out there in ‘blogland’ have any secrets on the inner workings of the mind of a man, please be kind and share

Just when you thought all I could grow were mad goats and bucket-headed cows I go and surprise you all with amazing specimens like these…

and this..

and even more gorgeousness like this…

So *stands back with arms folded and grinning proudly*..

“What do ya think of that lot then?”

Ok now if you could just move your foot please…oh for God’s sake…get off the freakin’ TV!  Shooo!

The first being the big push for people to start using hankies again instead of tissues to save the environment.

Now I am as keen as the next person to save the planet but please..when we get down to the nitty gritty, hankies are basically a piece of material soaked in snot and a haven for germs…I guess that is one way to save the planet, kill off all the people.

Seriously though I am sure there are better ways of being environmentally friendly…sheesh, next they will be telling us all to start saving our newspapers so we can use them in the toilet like we did in the good old days.

I am feeling that I am going to have to start a petition against the bringing back of the snotty old hanky…use the tissues for heavens sake peoples and then toss em!

I think I might have to start a business making these..

Next on my list of issues is..MANTYHOSE…yes you read right…MANTYHOSE…pantyhose for MEN.

Now call me crazy but something just doesn’t seem quite right to me with this one.  We already have girdles for men (mirdles) and hand bags (man bags)…but are MANTYHOSE taking it just that step to far?

According to reports I have read, they are just perfect for long haul truck drivers offering warmth and support…who knew?

I guess women wear jeans and pants so why can’t men embrace their feminine side once in a while..I just hope they have a good razor.

Can you remember back to those science experiments we all did at school, making a prototype of a car and powering it with a rubber band?

If my memory serves me correct the energy stored in the rubber band is called ‘potential energy’?

Well I think my dog Toto runs on that very same energy.

He stands at the side of the couch or the bed and bounces up and down on his hind legs as we count and until he gets enough energy up to launch himself up.

Now I am not completely convinced that it isn’t just an attention seeking exercise as he can vary in the amount of jumps from 1 to his all time world record of 39 jumps.

My theory is if he can get up the first time why can’t he do that every time instead of all the palaver?

I just wish I could harness some of this ‘potential energy’…we might be able to save the world’s energy crisis with ‘dog power!’

Once she realized that I was actually speaking to her, she stopped in her tracks and the look of pure relief on her face was almost palpable.

It turns out that she was on her way to lunch with her newly engaged son and his fiance with the flowers, and in the envelope was $1000 worth of Bunnings ( a DIY hardware store) vouchers.

I have never seen a person more relieved or more thankful, she kept insisting that I must have a reward and trying to thrust a $50 note at me, of course I refused and told her that hopefully someday someone will do me a good turn in return and that just knowing her son and daughter were receiving their much awaited gift was reward enough for me.

Later that evening TETB spent many hours lamenting about what he could have been buying at Bunnings this weekend while I was happy in the knowledge that I had made someone else’s day, it gave me a real warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

When is the last time you had that warm and fuzzy feeling?

The company has been searching for a “pretty faced cow” to front up their advertising campaign….gosh some of the photos that have been submitted have been some real old scrubbers and don’t come close to my gorgeous Lucy.

So I have now sent in some pictures of her, so who knows, soon you will all be able to say, “I knew that cow long before she was famous, in fact back in the days when she had a bucket on her head LOL!”

*Yes I know you have all seen this picture before, but it is my favourite and makes me smile..so suffer it again! I will show you the latest pictures I sent in when my camera returns from its’ day trip to Fraser Island with my boys.

Just to update you…Lucy actually appeared in today’s edition of the paper…look out bovine stardom….here we come! Wooohooo!