Mother Load
Posted on September 29, 2007 - Filed Under General
I recently read that in Latin, the word mother is “martyr”...pretty fitting really isn’t it? Why do we do this?
Our biggest crime seems to be always looking after others before ourselves. How are we going to be able to continue in our caring role if we continue to look after everybody else’s needs and always put ourselves to the back of the queue?
Does this sound like you?
Do you admit to being wrong even when it isn’t your fault?
Do you agree to do things you don’t really want to do to keep others happy?
Do you complain about “your lot in life” but do nothing to change things?
We are often taught that it is a positive thing to selflessly think of others before ourselves, but like everything in life, perhaps we need to do this in moderation and without forgetting our own needs?
When you put yourself first, you confirm your own self worth and spirit.
As mothers we all need to find ways to be fair to ourselves and to recognize that we too are just as deserving of love and care.
So today find time to listen to your inner voice….and feed her what she needs….she deserves it!
This post is part of the ALL WOMEN BLOGGING CARNIVAL, this week it is being hosted at the fabulous CRAZY MEEZER
Image sourced from Google Images.
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11 Responses to “Mother Load”
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Applause! Cheers! A Standing Ovation! - I was a single mother for over 25 years and I learned the greatest gift I gave to my children was my discipline to have my own life. To paint, to sing, to cook, to make handmade paper, to make dog biscuits, and handmade soaps - to fix the drippy faucet in the tub and install a ceiling fan all by myself (they hid behind the sofa when we finally turned it on - fearing imment decapitation) - to get stranded on an island in the Everglades for five days and still come home with an attitude.
They admire me more for MY life than for any self-serving, never-say-no, must-be-a-martyr-to-be-a-mother mom that I could have been been because I felt guilty having failed my marriage and that they couldn’t wear designer shoes and play four different sports.
My children folded their own clothes, and scrubbed the kitchen floor, and mowed the lawn. And they’ve become productive, responsible adults. Who knew? They know how to live within their means, and be respectful, and value honesty and family.
I saw Whoppi Goldberg the other nigth on Bravo and she politely reminded us that, “We gave up disciplining our children in the sixties so we could be “friends”. They don’t say please or thank you. And our children have raised barbarians.” (That may not be the exact quote but it’s pretty darn close.)
We all need to take a step back and think about the message we are sending to our children when we give of ourselves and never demand anything in return.
blessings,
julia
julia ward - a BLINDING heart - a writer’s blog
www.ablindingheart.com
I love that image! Beautiful!
In answer to your questions…
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. Sometimes.
Whew…I need to put myself first more often. I suspect it would alleviate my stress levels!
I fall into the same category as Tammy….although I have to admit this blogging thing I do strictly for myself and I guess that’s why i makes me so happy! It’s brought me all these friends! Beautiful image (is that Klimt?) Thanks for the gentle prod.
Yes Leendaluu the image is by Gustav Klimt…how clever of you …gorgeous isn’t it?
I must admit I am a big fan
What true statements! It’s hard for children to learn how to become independent when they believe the world revolves around them. It’s even harder to find that balance.
Love the Klimt, it’s one of my favorites!
Ooo, my inner voice wanted houmous. Yum.
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what does it say about me that i feel guilty for not putting everyone first always. i know most people do but i know that a good mom/wife is a happy mom/wife and so although i make sure everyone’s basic needs are always met, i also make sure that i am a happy person and are doing things that bring me pleasure. i do this in a way that doesn’t always necessarily put me last too. i feel guilty sometimes for saying no to kids who want me to play with them if i’m doing something i enjoy, or cooking dinner when I am ready, not when they demand it. stuff like that. i guess it sounds dumb but sometimes i think i should put myself a little more on the back burner so i’m more typical with other women. maybe we’re all just screwed up. is there a happy medium? has anyone fully achieved it? doubtful but it can always be a goal.
Oh, my password (a long time ago) used to always be “martyr” because it is a family trait (handed down by a matriarch) and I have perfected it.
It was only after being a mother and learning the lesson that your first commenter mentioned that I have tempered my martyrdom into being more human - I like myself more too!
Mind you, handy to have a shot of martyrdom in the back room for when you really need to use the big guns!!
ok, not to be too picky, but the inner pedant in me just can’t let it stand. I read Latin. The Latin word for mother is ‘mater’, not ‘martyr’. However ‘martyr’ does come to the English language via Old French and the Old French was derived from Latin.
Having said that, this is a great post!
[…] MGL has the ability to touch at the heart of what interests us the most. In her September post “Mother Load” she asked some insightful questions about whether some women are living as “martyrs”, […]